i’ve probably heard this phrase about 800 times in the last 3 weeks. “offense is a choice.”  and before that, i’d never once thought about it, let alone believed something so absurd.  a choice?  are you kidding me?  i mean i would never choose to be upset about some barista i don’t know being a jerk, or getting cut off on the interstate, or a friend blowing off our coffee date.  of course i could choose to not get mad if i knew that the customer in front of me had ordered the most complicated low-fat extra espresso double caramel half hazelnut extra foam latte, or realized that i had swerved into the right-hand lane just as the car was trying to merge, or known that my friend had 3 tests the next day.  right?  so given the circumstance i guess i can chose to not be offended.

how much easier is that?  if i smile at the barista and give a simple order maybe she won’t quit her job.  and maybe, had i gotten mad at the car in front of me i would have sped up, trying to vent my frustration and ended up crashing my car.  and arguing with my friend when she’s stressed doesn’t do anything but upset her more and probably ends in a pointless argument instead of giving her the break/study time she needed to ace her tests.  yeah these are all extreme, but they’re all possible…

but why do i need to know the situation before i decide to chose to not get upset?  i think what i’ve realized is that i don’t.  i really don’t.

and even more, i think that to be able to fully love others i have to understand this.  that’s not to say that i won’t stand up for myself ever [because that's another lesson i'm learning right alongside this one]. but the peace i get from it makes me thing that it’s so imperative.  so i choose to not be offended.